On Grief

by Kristine Enger

When you lose someone you love, perhaps suddenly, it becomes the ‘before and after’ event in your life. Therapist and counsellors, or even your own rational mind, can tell you that over time you might see the loss as more of a life event, or as something that just happened, God’s plan etc – but you yourself know this is not the case. When someone dies in your innermost circle, the rug gets pulled, and when you hit the floor you know your life is never going to be the same ever again.

Grief is sacred. When you finally pick yourself off the floor, if you do, you and your soul know you are in for a life lived somehow closer to the edge. You are living your life now from a place of being broken open, of rawness. Perhaps not openly so, but when you are alone, you know this is true. You somehow seem to operate and move within a wider range of the human emotional experience. You have explored and felt the very depths of extreme darkness, despair, overwhelm and hopelessness, but equally, over time, you have access to the deep, boundless love and a genuine, heartfelt compassion for your fellow human beings in their struggles. The world needs this deep, compassionate love. You could say this was hard earnt, but this is how it came to you. Grief is acceptance. Acceptance of your life the way it is now. Not what you thought it was going to be like, but what it is now. Deeply hidden within this acceptance, is the seed for how you as a human being find your way forward with a renewed sense of purpose, however small. Baby steps.

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