Know Where You Are

by Kristine Enger

A continuation in a series of posts “On Starting Over”

We cannot really go anywhere before we know where we are right now.

A lot of the time, we have no idea where we are. We feel lost.

Sometimes a period of not only introspection but also a very practical investigation is required. To adopt a Sherlock Holmes-like attitude to your current situation can be very helpful, and sometimes very revealing, surprising even.

Adopt the observer’s mind, as if you are establishing a neutral, independent survey of your life. Be methodical about it. Do you have all the facts? ‘Interview’ the people involved in the situation. This could be your children, a friend or colleague, a neighbour, your doctor, a financial advisor. Take extensive notes, make lists before you examine all the ‘evidence’. Take time to come and speak with a consultant who can help guide you through this observation in a safe and non-judgemental way – and in doing so help you do the same. This is a critical step and I find it very helpful for my clients to begin our conversations here.

Now, having gathered as many facts about the situation as possible, it is time for some introspection. We learn through contrast, so instead of being stuck in what you don’t want, what do you want?

What makes your heart sing? To be closer to family? A different career? A loving relationship?

This can bring about frustration, grief, despair and sorrow because where you are now may seem to be miles apart from where you want to be. In fact, the divide may seem too great and overwhelming.

The good news is that this is perfectly okay, and it is possible to traverse this divide.

In fact, just looking at your life in this way, you have already taken the first and most difficult step.

Kristine has lived in Dubai for more than 25 years and has started over many times in her life. Kristine knows particularly well what it entails to start over as an expat, far from home, without the safety net of family, friends and in certain situations social services to catch us. Kristine’s deeply grounded, practical, yet highly creative approach to life, makes her an excellent consultant to guide and inspire you if you find yourself going through the challenging time of starting over.