failMany parents want to be more patient around their children but struggle in the moment to maintain this. Whether it’s a toddler tantrum, stubborn child or difficult teenager, when we are faced with big feelings and challenging behaviour it can feel impossible to remain calm and role model the emotional management skills that we are so keen for our children to learn yet still struggle to practice ourselves. The skills of mindfulness teach us how to notice our triggers, to be more aware of our own big feelings and then how to manage them so we don’t explode them onto our children or teens and are able to regulate our emotions so we can co-regulate with them. As parents we can all get stuck in repeating the patterns of our own childhood, unconsciously parenting in the same way or so desperately trying to avoid repeating existing patterns that we don’t even realise we are just creating new patterns that our children will themselves get stuck in. The only way to avoid this is by being present in ourselves so we can be present in our parenting – conscious of our feelings, our thoughts and therefore able to choose our own, authentic behaviours. Mindfulness teaches us the skills to be able to practise presence, to be more patient, aware of our feelings, non-judgemental and less attached to the type of parent we should be or what our child should achieve so that we can allow ourselves and them to be exactly what we are meant to. During this time of lockdown, many of us will be struggling with our own stress, anxiety and frustration, resorting to strategies such as avoidance, over-controlling, anger and focusing on the future in order to cope. Our children and teens are currently observing all of us at close quarters, their own coping strategies are being learnt, developed and practised at the moment and these will be influenced most by the adults they are currently living with. At times of stress, we often fall back into old patterns of behaviour, the ones we learnt as children from our own parents and as Eckhart Tolle tells us, “The deeper cause of family dysfunction is not the parents’ lack of knowledge or education but their lack of awareness. Without a conscious parent, there can be no conscious parenting!….when there is no mindfulness you relate to your child….through the conditioning of your mind”. Our greatest support during difficult times is our ability to be aware – of our feelings, our thoughts and our behaviour, to be aware of what is happening inside us rather than outside us and to know that whatever is happening in the world around us, if we are conscious we can still choose what we do and what we say. Mindfulness provides us with the skills and practice to develop this consciousness as well as the tools we can use to bring this awareness into our daily lives and teach it to our children. This course is now being held online using Zoom it runs over 4 weeks for 2 hours per session and once you’ve attended you can come back anytime for unlimited refresher sessions, including in-person workshops once these resume. You will learn the theory and practice of mindfulness- both informal and formal and how to incorporate it into your life and parenting. It’s suitable for parents of children any age from pregnancy up to adulthood and a great way to learn and improve emotional regulation, compassion, listening etc.
Next workshop dates
- May 2020
- Saturdays from 2pm – 4pm: 2th, 9th, 16th & 23rd