Tag: death

On Longing

On Longing

kristineenger
By Kristine Enger

What is this yearning that we feel in our body, heart, and soul, for something, for someone? For a deeper soul connection, a soulmate, a twin flame. The longing to be seen, understood and loved. To feel completely safe. Where does this longing come from and will we ever find that elusive, missing piece so we will feel complete, whole and at peace? How can it be that when be truly believe we have met the perfect partner, after a while, a loneliness slowly starts to seep into our awareness, just when we thought we had it all.

Are we ultimately looking for ourselves, to express and be who we truly are? Is our divine counterpart the image reflected back to us when we look at ourselves in the mirror? Could it be that we are living our lives through our reflected self? And that it is our real self that we ache for, the one calling us home? Can we ever be whole and live without longing? A deep acceptance of the present moment with all its unanswered questions and messy situations will strangely soothe us. For a while. It is time to rest. And we will momentarily call off the search. Until we start again, fuelled by that very same longing, yearning for that deeper connection, venturing further and further afield into the unknown, knowing our heart is the compass, but reading it wrong like so many times in the past. Longing is what makes us feel alive, vulnerable and strong. It is calling us to grow; it is our connection to the mystery, to the Divine.

On Grief

On Grief

kristineenger
by Kristine Enger

When you lose someone you love, perhaps suddenly, it becomes the ‘before and after’ event in your life. Therapist and counsellors, or even your own rational mind, can tell you that over time you might see the loss as more of a life event, or as something that just happened, God’s plan etc – but you yourself know this is not the case. When someone dies in your innermost circle, the rug gets pulled, and when you hit the floor you know your life is never going to be the same ever again.

Grief is sacred. When you finally pick yourself off the floor, if you do, you and your soul know you are in for a life lived somehow closer to the edge. You are living your life now from a place of being broken open, of rawness. Perhaps not openly so, but when you are alone, you know this is true. You somehow seem to operate and move within a wider range of the human emotional experience. You have explored and felt the very depths of extreme darkness, despair, overwhelm and hopelessness, but equally, over time, you have access to the deep, boundless love and a genuine, heartfelt compassion for your fellow human beings in their struggles. The world needs this deep, compassionate love. You could say this was hard earnt, but this is how it came to you. Grief is acceptance. Acceptance of your life the way it is now. Not what you thought it was going to be like, but what it is now. Deeply hidden within this acceptance, is the seed for how you as a human being find your way forward with a renewed sense of purpose, however small. Baby steps.