I Just Need Some Space

by Helen Williams

As a couples’ therapist, my experience is that “I just need some space”, has always been a well-worn phrase, often used by couples to describe their need to escape from each other.  Commonly it brings fear to the partner hearing it because it infers that something is wrong with their relationship, that being apart may create greater distance and bring the relationship to an end.

Parents often use the same phrase to describe their need for some timeout from 24-hour childcare, even though this may be the life we have chosen, it can at times become all-consuming and separates us from the essence of ourselves.  Finding that space, even if only briefly, can bring us a sense of welcome reconnection to our own sense of wellbeing.

Children too need to be given the space to be, without direction, without guidance and without the interference of their parents, siblings or other children.  Teaching children the importance of time out for themselves to replenish is a very healthy way of teaching independence and self-hood.

The need for space is deeply inherent within all of us and when used well, finding and giving ourselves some space becomes the way we can discover the deeper connection and relationship with our own inner knowing that intuitively we are all searching for. Needing space is another way of describing our need to connect with the core of ourselves – to rest, restore, revitalise, repair and relax into the sense that we can be held, supported and released from our busyness and the pressure of stress.

Mindful ME are delighted to offer retreat experiences that enable a connection to your own inner voice.  Our retreats are designed to de-stress, unwind and bring clarity and calm. Our trusted team of professionals have the knowledge, training, and experience to provide this. Learn more about our retreats here or contact us to book. 

My Dance with Sleep

By Bindu Ann Joseph

“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it”

John Steinbeck

A couple of weeks ago before attending the Mindful Living series workshop on Mindfulness of Sleep and Dreams, if I had read Steinbeck’s quote, I would have been envious and puzzled at the same time. For many years, a good night’s sleep where my body and brain let go of the day that has been was becoming a deceptive illusion.

The research on the benefits of a good night’s sleep is endless. In fact I don’t think it takes any of us much convincing that it is beneficial: sleep is our biologically, neurologically and chemically much needed trigger for a sense of balance. My biggest personal challenge hasn’t been the acknowledgment of these facts but the execution of this all to simple act.

How do I go to sleep?

Years of distress was suddenly unlocked ending and beginning with 2 simple revelations:

  • The sleeping pattern or ritual I had developed was just a habit I had created and
  • Sleep much like the paradox of life itself is the act of letting go

A habit could be broken and re-programed! That gave an initial sense of relief – ok I can do this. But the letting go required a bit more soul searching. So, what am I holding on to in my day that I can’t lay to rest at night? If I can skillfully bring the practice of mindfulness and being present in the now without judgment into my day how odd that I resist bringing that same presence at night?

It was like a switch flipped in my thinking brain: let go of the day that was and for now surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the present place of rest. Feel the warm embrace of sleep as she takes you into her abode without judgment. As you let go she takes over clearing out what is not needed ensuring that when we are ready to awaken we are renewed to begin again.

If you are like me, and philosophy alone doesn’t convince you, here is a little factual data: from a purely scientific perspective, the University of Rochester concluded that sleep helps the body cleans the brain of toxic proteins that are created as a result of neural activities done throughout the day.[i] I admit that the study was done on mice but there is enough motivation in this finding to further pursue a potential new role for sleep.

Waking up is also the process of letting go. Letting go of your sanctuary and coming into the present so that you begin to use up the energy stored overnight. The beauty here is that once the body has properly rested it intuitively, by the design of nature, will gladly awaken on its own. Before the workshop, I would have never been convinced of this until I was able to go through it myself.

I now willingly give into sleep and have never received so much more back in return. I wake up fresh and charged unlike the groggy and grumpy self from before. I am focused, rested and more importantly calm on the inside. I now listen to my body and have learnt not fight it as she tells me very clearly when she is ready to call it a night. As a result, she rewards me with amazement every morning with a slight nudge …because now my eyes open just a few minutes before the alarm goes off. She has done her work during the night so that I am ready for the day that will unfold.

We maybe what we eat, but also, to be sure, we are how we sleep”

The Sleep Revolution Manifesto, Arianna Huffington.[ii]




[i] Sleep Your Problems Away – Melvin Sanicas

[ii] The Sleep Revolution Manifesto – Arianna Huffington

Sleep, Sleeping and Mindfulness

by Helen Williams

One of the most profound impacts of Meditation and Mindfulness practices in my daily life has been a change in sleep and dreams.

I recently heard a radio reporter state that an extremely high number of Dubai residents suffer from sleep deprivation – simply not getting enough sleep every night and suffering hugely from the impact of this on their lives.

As practitioners of Mindfulness will attest, learning to notice thoughts and seeing them as just that, brings about a change in our relationship with our thinking mind. All the ideas, beliefs, notions and ways of seeing time, worry, stress, fear and anxiety begin coming under the microscope of a new way of seeing, and how we think about sleep and sleeping fits in with this.

I held these beliefs for many years; I am not a morning person, I need to sleep later and longer, I cannot go to bed early, I will not sleep if I do, I cannot go back to sleep if I wake.

I was astonished to discover that noticing these thoughts, and opening to a new way of seeing, allowing a new and different perspective, simply showed me that a lot of my ideas about sleep and sleeping were just simply ideas! Just thoughts. I discovered that understanding what is happening while I am sleeping, what needs to happen during sleeping time, and what I just simply wasn’t aware of, could all be held under the microscope of insight, allowing for change and growth.

Mindfulness helps us to change our relationship with our thoughts, and this allows us to examine long held beliefs. Openness for change then follows and many practitioners report that sleeping well is a wonderful by-product of practicing Mindfulness and Meditation.

Join with us as we discuss this interesting topic on 16 April at 7pm as part of our Mindful Living series. Drop in for AED350 or save by signing up as a Mindful Living member. Email alfie@mindfulme.me to sign up or click here: https://mindfulme.me/mindful-living/