Know Where You Are

by Kristine Enger

A continuation in a series of posts “On Starting Over”

We cannot really go anywhere before we know where we are right now.

A lot of the time, we have no idea where we are. We feel lost.

Sometimes a period of not only introspection but also a very practical investigation is required. To adopt a Sherlock Holmes-like attitude to your current situation can be very helpful, and sometimes very revealing, surprising even.

Adopt the observer’s mind, as if you are establishing a neutral, independent survey of your life. Be methodical about it. Do you have all the facts? ‘Interview’ the people involved in the situation. This could be your children, a friend or colleague, a neighbour, your doctor, a financial advisor. Take extensive notes, make lists before you examine all the ‘evidence’. Take time to come and speak with a consultant who can help guide you through this observation in a safe and non-judgemental way – and in doing so help you do the same. This is a critical step and I find it very helpful for my clients to begin our conversations here.

Now, having gathered as many facts about the situation as possible, it is time for some introspection. We learn through contrast, so instead of being stuck in what you don’t want, what do you want?

What makes your heart sing? To be closer to family? A different career? A loving relationship?

This can bring about frustration, grief, despair and sorrow because where you are now may seem to be miles apart from where you want to be. In fact, the divide may seem too great and overwhelming.

The good news is that this is perfectly okay, and it is possible to traverse this divide.

In fact, just looking at your life in this way, you have already taken the first and most difficult step.

 

Kristine has lived in Dubai for more than 25 years and has started over many times in her life. Kristine knows particularly well what it entails to start over as an expat, far from home, without the safety net of family, friends and in certain situations social services to catch us. Kristine’s deeply grounded, practical, yet highly creative approach to life, makes her an excellent consultant to guide and inspire you if you find yourself going through the challenging time of starting over.

 

On Starting Over

by Kristine Enger

On our life’s journey, at some point, the calling comes, and as if waking from a dream, we realise we must change our lives.  Weeks, months and years can have passed, until one day, we cannot stand the present situation any longer. We may not know what we want, but we know we don’t want this. Something we have put up with for a long time suddenly seems intolerable.

Or change can suddenly be brought upon us in the form of some event, where the rug can literally be pulled from under us, forcing us, kicking and screaming to reassess our lives and start over.

Either way, we know our life cannot go on the way it was, however much we resist it or put it off.

As we wake up to this new reality, it can be daunting, as the situation we find ourselves in can seem utterly hopeless with no apparent solution in sight. We feel stuck and frustrated.

It can take the same amount of time to extricate yourself from a situation that requires you to start over, as the time it took before you became lost in it. It is like you must retrace your steps, wound yourself right back to who and where you were initially, before you eventually emerge more mature, wise and strong, a redefined human being.

Starting over is an inner energetic process, that most commonly stems from our heart’s deepest desire and longing. However, this is a process that also involves a lot of deliberate, very different ‘doing’ however small and seemingly insignificant at first. The little choices we make throughout each day.

Being open to a period of ‘mucking about’ with different scenarios, tossing ideas around, slowly gathering momentum is all an important part of starting over. Becoming aware of the role our thinking plays in the creative process. Connecting with the fertile ground of stillness, whilst at the same time accepting the uncertainty, anxiety, chaos and sleepless nights that for us as human beings seem to be an integral part of starting over too, even with all the help and support in the world.

Starting over can be the start of a journey of the greatest discovery, as inherent in each seemingly unsolvable situation or tightly wound knot, there is also a solution. However entangled we become, we also hold the key to untangling it, to create something wonderful and new out of what seemed to be an impossible situation. It can feel as if the solution will only come to us when we are ready to see it.

 

Kristine has lived in Dubai for more than 25 years and has started over many times in her life. Kristine knows particularly well what it entails to start over as an expat, far from home, without the safety net of family, friends and in certain situations social services to catch us. Kristine’s deeply grounded, practical, yet highly creative approach to life, makes her an excellent coach to guide and inspire you if you find yourself going through the challenging time of starting over. Contact us here to book in a private session with Kristine.